Here you come!

Well, Zöe, my sweet one. You are almost here. Tomorrow I take your mother to GW hospital. I'm going to miss feeling you move and wiggle inside her body. I'll miss seeing her roundness, and how beautiful she looks with you. But she's ready, and you're ready, and it's time. And of course, I won't miss any of that, because I'll be busy being in love with you.There probably are very few times when we know beforehand that we are going to fall in love. While I'm very excited, looking forward to seeing you, and knowing who you are, in some ways you are still theoretical. That singing you hear now and then? That's me. A few times I felt you move when I sang to you. In a couple of days, I'll sing to you in person, without your mother's body between us, and you'll know me, I hope. Years from now, maybe, you'll read what I write here. Strange, isn't it, that at this moment, I have never seen your face. You are coming from I know not where, to live with us, and to share our love, and to challenge us, make us grow, and surprise, delight, and scare the hell out of us. We asked God to send you, and you came faster than we'd imagined was possible. The day after tomorrow, you are going to change my life forever. You have no idea what you're in for, baby. I'm sure it will be upsetting, but it will be OK. Soon you'll be in your mommy and daddy's arms.I want you to know how much your mother cares for you. She was diagnosed with gestational diabetes a couple of months ago. She's been sticking her finger and measuring glucose four times a day, and giving herself injections twice a day. She's been very strict about what she eats, and has avoided all sweet things entirely. The obstetrician told her a couple of days ago that she had done a great job, and that few mothers with gestational diabetes care for themselves so well that their babies have normal size. You're right on the money, honey. Thanks to your Mom. She did great, because she already loves you. She talks and sings to you--maybe I'm a little envious that she's been so close to you for eight and a half months already! But I'll be the one in the middle of the night, when you cry, coming to feed you, hold you, sing to you, and make you feel safe. Your Mom and I are on your side, always, always.I talked to my Mom last night. She asked how I was. I told her that I've been more excited about vacations, and more worried about tests, than I am about becoming a dad in a couple of days. I told her that my denial was still intact, and so I wasn't particularly worried. Today at work, the day started pretty normally--I drove to work, listened to the radio, drank my coffee, programmed a while. About midday, the butterflies started. By mid-afternoon I was having trouble thinking. Ready or not--here you come. All afternoon I was buzzing. Dinner calmed me down some--now I'm just tired.Baby--do us a favor. Be easy on your Mom and yourself when you come, OK?I can hardly wait to meet you.LoveDad